Yatcisskan is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, annoying chinchilla.

Yatcisskan created the planet Mars eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Yatcisskan, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Yatcisskan, he will laugh at you.

Yatcisskan's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Yatcisskan's Holy Commandments

1. Yatcisskan loves nematodes, so they must be respected.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Never write about enzymes.

4. Feed all hungry porpoises.

5. Never eat aubergines.