Wabyattquimmapbetfutyatt Kipvancum is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, unselfish wombat.

Wabyattquimmapbetfutyatt Kipvancum created tapeworms seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wabyattquimmapbetfutyatt Kipvancum, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Wabyattquimmapbetfutyatt Kipvancum, it will ignore you and hope you go away.

Wabyattquimmapbetfutyatt Kipvancum's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Wabyattquimmapbetfutyatt Kipvancum's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant nickel sculpture of Wabyattquimmapbetfutyatt Kipvancum in the centre of the settlement.

2. You must pray to Wabyattquimmapbetfutyatt Kipvancum nine times a day.

3. Feed all hungry goats.

4. Do not eat melons.

5. Never think about quantum mechanics near bats while wearing mauve shorts and balancing five lead spheres on your chest.