Timgebcab is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, grumpy whale.

Timgebcab created the Black Eye Galaxy three million years ago.

If you believe in Timgebcab, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Timgebcab, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Timgebcab's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Timgebcab's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near dogs while wearing orange hats.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Never talk about porpoises.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.