Yarhapdiss is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, smart elephant.

Yarhapdiss created a quark nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarhapdiss, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Yarhapdiss, she will cry a lot.

Yarhapdiss' most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Yarhapdiss' Holy Commandments

1. Never feed figs to foxes while wearing scarves.

2. Never wear jumpers.

3. Do not dye your hair yellow.

4. Do not speak about bananas.

5. Do not wear carbon on your body.