Quimmegjat is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, prudent tapir.

Quimmegjat created Asia eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quimmegjat, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Quimmegjat, he will come to you in dreams.

Quimmegjat's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Quimmegjat's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about dwarf planets.

2. Worship no other gods but Quimmegjat.

3. Erect a giant yellow sculpture of Quimmegjat in the centre of the settlement.

4. Always make sure there are no mice in a room before entering it.

5. Never hurt birds.