Dutquillgid is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, strong gerbil.

Dutquillgid created time and space eight million years ago.

If you believe in Dutquillgid, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Dutquillgid, it will jump up and down on your head.

Dutquillgid's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Dutquillgid's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Erect a large aluminium sculpture of Dutquillgid on top of all buildings.

3. Hide from mauve ants for they are unholy.

4. Do not shave your feet.

5. Do not take Dutquillgid's name in vain.