Wigyimsig is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, emotional gerbil.

Wigyimsig created Mount Everest two million years ago.

If you believe in Wigyimsig, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Wigyimsig, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Wigyimsig's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Wigyimsig's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of coconuts to snakes while wearing magenta boots.

2. Always obey Wigyimsig's priests.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Never think about solid mechanics near moths while wearing black hats and balancing six tin spheres on your face.

5. Never mention frogs.