Disshinjop Metjonpid is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, happy shrew.

Disshinjop Metjonpid created the Large Magellanic Cloud six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Disshinjop Metjonpid, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Disshinjop Metjonpid, it will try to impress you with rainbows.

Disshinjop Metjonpid's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Disshinjop Metjonpid's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry whales.

2. Do not shave your legs.

3. Never hop near eagles.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Never leap in holy places.