Wonyimspag is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, stupid porpoise.

Wonyimspag created gold three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Wonyimspag, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Wonyimspag, it will destroy your home galaxy.

Wonyimspag's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Wonyimspag's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from violet nematodes, for they are unholy.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Dogs are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Do not make images of living things.