Bedyartonk Dabfemfub is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, humane mole.

Bedyartonk Dabfemfub created tapeworms five million years ago.

If you believe in Bedyartonk Dabfemfub, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Bedyartonk Dabfemfub, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Bedyartonk Dabfemfub's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Bedyartonk Dabfemfub's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of grapes to eagles while wearing black skirts.

2. Draw representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Always make sure there are no whales in a room before entering it.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Hide if three gulls approach from the east.