Wadfunmat Nilligbess is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, proud gerbil.

Wadfunmat Nilligbess created the planet Earth two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wadfunmat Nilligbess, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Wadfunmat Nilligbess, she will turn you into a snail.

Wadfunmat Nilligbess' most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Wadfunmat Nilligbess' Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick voles.

2. Always help sheep.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Never think about dark matter near snakes while wearing yellow kilts and balancing eight titanium spheres on your chest.

5. Pray towards the north.