Nelbastartsig is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, fast guinea pig.

Nelbastartsig created the Small Magellanic Cloud eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nelbastartsig, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Nelbastartsig, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Nelbastartsig's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Nelbastartsig's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear magenta.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Never laugh near swans.

5. Do not commit murder.