Yarbarnfarn Tettigetveen is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, competent zebra.

Yarbarnfarn Tettigetveen created Africa two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yarbarnfarn Tettigetveen, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Yarbarnfarn Tettigetveen, it will turn you into a small brown duck.

Yarbarnfarn Tettigetveen's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Yarbarnfarn Tettigetveen's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about asteroids.

2. Erect eight tin sculptures of Yarbarnfarn Tettigetveen on top of important buildings.

3. Never think about solid mechanics near great tits while wearing blue corsets and balancing four aluminium spheres on your hands.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of lead.

5. Never feed lots of peas to cats while wearing orange dresses.