Lakkontip is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, unthinking chicken.

Lakkontip created life five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lakkontip, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Lakkontip, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Lakkontip's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Lakkontip's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from blue goats, for they are unholy.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Never go into cyan rooms.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of gold.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.