Carmitflat Femdobsat is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, conceited lobster.

Carmitflat Femdobsat created light eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Carmitflat Femdobsat, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Carmitflat Femdobsat, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Carmitflat Femdobsat's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Carmitflat Femdobsat's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear boots.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Learn eight new languages a year.

5. Erect seven carbon sculptures of Carmitflat Femdobsat on top of important buildings.