Cubjamcab is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, merciful grasshopper.

Cubjamcab created the Sol system six billion years ago.

If you believe in Cubjamcab, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Cubjamcab, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Cubjamcab's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Cubjamcab's Holy Commandments

1. Cubjamcab must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never feed figs to doves while wearing orange coats.

5. Always pray immersed in water.