Hottengep is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, fast rhinoceros.

Hottengep created tapeworms four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hottengep, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Hottengep, he will turn you into a mouse.

Hottengep's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Hottengep's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Hottengep.

3. Never talk about quantum field theory near capybaras while wearing blue coats and balancing five zinc spheres on your arms.

4. Always help squirrels.

5. Never feed nuts to mites while wearing red shirts.