Sakbenyarl is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, wise walrus.

Sakbenyarl created the universe six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sakbenyarl, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Sakbenyarl, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Sakbenyarl's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Sakbenyarl's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Never jump in holy places.

3. Run away if nine whales approach from the west.

4. Never think about dark matter.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.