Bugbonvil is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, self-confident horse.

Bugbonvil created a quark nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bugbonvil, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Bugbonvil, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Bugbonvil's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Bugbonvil's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about optics near monkeys while wearing red scarves and balancing six copper spheres on your hands.

2. Do not eat cucumbers.

3. Erect a giant indigo sculpture of Bugbonvil in the centre of the settlement.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Never talk about dolphins.