Bapfigdun is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, grumpy hydra.

Bapfigdun created the Sombrero Galaxy two billion years ago.

If you believe in Bapfigdun, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Bapfigdun, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Bapfigdun's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Bapfigdun's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from pink dolphins for they are unholy.

2. Feed all hungry pigs.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of iron.

5. Never feed lots of nuts to tortoises while wearing orange corsets.