Cabmadweg Jopdamaf is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, two-faced toad.

Cabmadweg Jopdamaf created dark energy two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cabmadweg Jopdamaf, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Cabmadweg Jopdamaf, she will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Cabmadweg Jopdamaf's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Cabmadweg Jopdamaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about bacteria.

2. Erect seven nickel sculptures of Cabmadweg Jopdamaf on top of important buildings.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Always make sure there are no dolphins in a room before entering it.

5. Cabmadweg Jopdamaf loves moths, so they must be honoured.