Wodtimfud is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, cheerful hare.

Wodtimfud created the planet Mars seven million years ago.

If you believe in Wodtimfud, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Wodtimfud, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Wodtimfud's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Wodtimfud's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from turquoise grasshopers, for they are unholy.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate cats.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Wodtimfud loves dolphins, so they must be honoured.