Boportlik is a god.
She takes the form of a fat, staggering
faun.
Boportlik created snails seven trillion years ago.
If you believe in
Boportlik, she will ignore you forever.
If you do not believe in
Boportlik, she will attempt to scare you with lightening.
Boportlik's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.
Boportlik's Holy Commandments1. Always help manatees.
2. Cats are not to be trusted.
3. Never feed tomatoes to dolphins while wearing indigo tights.
4. Show mercy to disobedient children.
5. Never write about photosynthesis.