Benrotgub is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, self-confident mole.

Benrotgub created the world three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Benrotgub, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Benrotgub, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Benrotgub's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Benrotgub's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Never talk about bacteria.

5. You must never eat pineapples.