Larphapsaskop is a god.

He takes the form of a large, intelligent slug.

Larphapsaskop created the Small Magellanic Cloud five million years ago.

If you believe in Larphapsaskop, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Larphapsaskop, he will boil you in a big pot.

Larphapsaskop's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Larphapsaskop's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair violet.

2. Never go into orange rooms.

3. Geese are not to be trusted.

4. Put Larphapsaskop first in all things.

5. Larphapsaskop loves voles, so they must be honoured.