Litpibdidpang is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, happy porpoise.

Litpibdidpang created Asia five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Litpibdidpang, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Litpibdidpang, she will destroy your home planet.

Litpibdidpang's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Litpibdidpang's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about galaxies.

2. Litpibdidpang loves birds, so they must be honoured.

3. Never wear mauve skirts.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Run away from indigo rats, for they are unholy.