Zimfaddogmut is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, intelligent scorpion.

Zimfaddogmut created everything that exists nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Zimfaddogmut, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Zimfaddogmut, he will not invite you to parties.

Zimfaddogmut's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Zimfaddogmut's Holy Commandments

1. Put Zimfaddogmut first in all things.

2. Never think about black holes.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Do not speak about peas.

5. Zimfaddogmut must be the most important thing in your life.