Vendusslen is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, narcissistic tortoise.

Vendusslen created life three million years ago.

If you believe in Vendusslen, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Vendusslen, it will send you a sign.

Vendusslen's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Vendusslen's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no goats in a room before entering it.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Retreat if five turtles approach from the south.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Pray towards the west.