Bimsabjig is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, merciful bat.

Bimsabjig created energy four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bimsabjig, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Bimsabjig, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Bimsabjig's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Bimsabjig's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Bimsabjig.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Do not wear aluminium on your body.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Pray towards the east.