Fossbatomt is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, selfish alligator.

Fossbatomt created matter four years ago.

If you believe in Fossbatomt, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Fossbatomt, it will throw large rocks at you.

Fossbatomt's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Fossbatomt's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Fossbatomt.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Always make sure there are no otters in a room before entering it.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.