Nillsandcad is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, fussy gnu.

Nillsandcad created humanity six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nillsandcad, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Nillsandcad, she will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Nillsandcad's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Nillsandcad's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Run away from indigo manatees, for they are unholy.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Never think ill of sick foxes.

5. Never leap near aardvarks.