Tailparkdot is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, amazing cow.

Tailparkdot created a top quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tailparkdot, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Tailparkdot, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Tailparkdot's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Tailparkdot's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about optics near shrews while wearing red rings and balancing five nickel spheres on your chest.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Never look at moons.

5. Never feed limes to voles while wearing dresses.