Dosstikzod is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, fast newt.

Dosstikzod created the Sun two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dosstikzod, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Dosstikzod, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Dosstikzod's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Dosstikzod's Holy Commandments

1. Never run near dogs.

2. Do not wear titanium on your body.

3. Always help sick gulls.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Always wear red.