Pitstraglooppin is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, awesome rhinoceros.

Pitstraglooppin created life three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pitstraglooppin, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Pitstraglooppin, she will turn you into a duck.

Pitstraglooppin's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Pitstraglooppin's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Never feed bread to seals while wearing violet jumpers.

5. Always pray immersed in water.