Vonkcitloopbigmetged is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, passionate seal.

Vonkcitloopbigmetged created the Black Eye Galaxy seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Vonkcitloopbigmetged, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Vonkcitloopbigmetged, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Vonkcitloopbigmetged's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Vonkcitloopbigmetged's Holy Commandments

1. Vonkcitloopbigmetged must be the most important thing in your life.

2. You must never eat aubergines.

3. Never hurt mice.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Vonkcitloopbigmetged.

5. Never talk about quantum mechanics near dogs while wearing indigo shorts.