Camtinbut is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, smart gorilla.

Camtinbut created silver eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Camtinbut, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Camtinbut, he will ignore you.

Camtinbut's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Camtinbut's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat strawberries.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Erect five tin sculptures of Camtinbut on top of important buildings.

5. Never sit in the presence of porpoises.