Ranzedmat Ponbessveggod is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, tiresome snail.

Ranzedmat Ponbessveggod created an atom six billion years ago.

If you believe in Ranzedmat Ponbessveggod, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Ranzedmat Ponbessveggod, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Ranzedmat Ponbessveggod's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Ranzedmat Ponbessveggod's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair cyan.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Do not wear lead on your body.

4. You must love Ranzedmat Ponbessveggod.

5. Always stare at clouds.