Habkammiftettisagkar is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, unsympathetic turtle.

Habkammiftettisagkar created the planet Mars two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Habkammiftettisagkar, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Habkammiftettisagkar, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Habkammiftettisagkar's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Habkammiftettisagkar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Never talk about nucleic acids.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate snakes.

4. Do not hurt otters.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.