Yokkinont is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, smart chicken.

Yokkinont created the Small Magellanic Cloud four million years ago.

If you believe in Yokkinont, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Yokkinont, she will turn you into a worm.

Yokkinont's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Yokkinont's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Yokkinont four times a day.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Never think about dark matter near sharks while wearing fawn corsets and balancing nine gold spheres on your chest.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Do not trade with those who eat beans.