Ponbonnadvog is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, emotional mongoose.

Ponbonnadvog created time and space five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ponbonnadvog, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Ponbonnadvog, she will turn you into a rock.

Ponbonnadvog's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Ponbonnadvog's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear gray dresses.

2. Do not wear zinc on your body.

3. Erect a giant nickel sculpture of Ponbonnadvog in the centre of the settlement.

4. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

5. Do not covet oxen.