Bemzogneg is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, boastful dryad.

Bemzogneg created a strange quark six million years ago.

If you believe in Bemzogneg, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Bemzogneg, it will turn you into a slug.

Bemzogneg's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Bemzogneg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Do not dye your hair red.

3. Never wear stockings.

4. Never think about the strong nuclear force near manatees while wearing indigo skirts and balancing three platinum spheres on your chest.

5. Never look in ponds.