Nellopmis is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, confident swallow.

Nellopmis created humanity four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nellopmis, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Nellopmis, she will remove you from existence.

Nellopmis' most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Nellopmis' Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Never talk about moons.

3. Never talk about dark matter.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Pray towards the north.