Nuttvoggess is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, self-assured goose.

Nuttvoggess created time and space nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nuttvoggess, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Nuttvoggess, she will turn you into a mole.

Nuttvoggess' most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Nuttvoggess' Holy Commandments

1. You must love Nuttvoggess.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Do not take Nuttvoggess' name in vain.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Retreat if eight grasshopers approach from the south.