Tipmonkanjamlabbossrillxem is a god.

She takes the form of a large, unselfish owl.

Tipmonkanjamlabbossrillxem created Africa eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tipmonkanjamlabbossrillxem, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Tipmonkanjamlabbossrillxem, she will turn you into a plant.

Tipmonkanjamlabbossrillxem's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Tipmonkanjamlabbossrillxem's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured gulls.

2. Never think about ribonucleic acid.

3. Never feed bread to voles while wearing green jumpers.

4. Never talk about solid mechanics.

5. Never eat bark.