Flan is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, humane eagle.

Flan created dark energy four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flan, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Flan, he will turn you into a slug.

Flan's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Flan's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near grasshopers while wearing turquoise boots.

2. Never talk about bats.

3. You must love Flan.

4. Run away if six badgers approach from the west.

5. Never talk about dark energy.