Pitweesis is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, kind salamander.

Pitweesis created Mount Everest six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pitweesis, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Pitweesis, she will manifest in front of you.

Pitweesis' most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Pitweesis' Holy Commandments

1. Always treat doves with great respect.

2. Never chant in holy places.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Do not cook food in pots.