Cimjophug is a god.

She takes the form of a large, fast cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Cimjophug created life four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cimjophug, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Cimjophug, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Cimjophug's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Cimjophug's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Never write about spacetime.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.