Monlipquagdavsasgilfarnton is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, calm fish.

Monlipquagdavsasgilfarnton created silver six billion years ago.

If you believe in Monlipquagdavsasgilfarnton, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Monlipquagdavsasgilfarnton, he will turn you into a goat.

Monlipquagdavsasgilfarnton's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Monlipquagdavsasgilfarnton's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about dark matter near eagles while wearing mauve shorts and balancing three platinum spheres on your chest.

2. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

3. Monlipquagdavsasgilfarnton must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Never eat bark.