Gemlimzantarpflamteenpopgov is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, omnipotent wyrm.

Gemlimzantarpflamteenpopgov created an electron five million years ago.

If you believe in Gemlimzantarpflamteenpopgov, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Gemlimzantarpflamteenpopgov, he will turn you into a hamster.

Gemlimzantarpflamteenpopgov's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Gemlimzantarpflamteenpopgov's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Great tits are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Run away if eight cats approach from the east.

5. Do not kill gulls.