Hanceblip is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, pitiless hippopotamus.

Hanceblip created the solar system five million years ago.

If you believe in Hanceblip, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Hanceblip, she will turn you into a hamster.

Hanceblip's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Hanceblip's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate hamsters.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Run away from mauve swans, for they are unholy.

4. Erect a giant platinum sculpture of Hanceblip in the centre of the settlement.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of titanium.